How to be happy?
It’s a question many people ask themselves. I have asked myself this question many times as well. “If only I could be happy”. “If only I could feel happier”. “Living happy”. Why are so many people searching to find happiness?
Do we need to travel to Tibet and spend a month with the monks?
Do we want to find happiness within ourselves or in our ways of life?
Let’s explore what happiness is, what it means, what makes you happy, your happiest thoughts and how you can find happiness with my quick 5 tips.
What happiness is
According to several phsychology institutes, “happiness” is the state of being happy. Plain and simple.
It is an emotional state in which a person experiences and feels joy, contentment, satisfaction and fullfillment.
Research shows that happiness is a combination of how satisfied you are with your life and how good you feel on a day-to-day basis.
So, if it is really this simple and you would ask yourself those questions you would get a pretty good idea how happy you feel, right?
But how do you scale your answer? How do you compare your level of happiness to how other people are experiencing happiness? Does your level of happiness depend on others?
Feeling of contentment
Are the feeling of contentment and feeling happy the same things?
Contentment is the state of being happy and satisfied. Contentment isn’t an excited kind of happy, it’s more like a peaceful ease of mind. Add some joy to the mix and you might start to experience an excited kind of happy. We can add different meta states to happiness resulting in different meanings and experiences.
For example; you’ve had a busy day organising a family dinner. Finally everyone sits around the table and is enjoying the meal you cooked. You sit back and look at all those happy people and feel a sense of contentment.
The other day I was playing games with friends. We had a fabulous time. It was fun and everyone was laughing and cheering. This creates a more excited state of happiness.
Do you need to feel happier?
Life is how you make it
At the end of the day is it up to you to shape your life. To shape your world and everything that you want in that world.
Life is how and what you make it. No one else can decide for you what you want, what you need and how you should do things. We often put so much pressure on ourselves by letting the outside world rule how we feel, what we do, what decisions we make. The need for this external validations is because we think we need to feel wanted, to feel we belong and add something to someone else’s life. If this is something you recognise you’re doing, read the post I wrote about the “fear of what others think of you”.
But what if we could live life coming from a place within. From within ourselves, from who we truly are, without that need for external validation. Coming from a place where it does not matter what the outside world thinks. Because whatever others might say or think or feel, it says nothing about you!
How would that change you perception of happiness and where to find it?
In my coaching programs I help people to let go of the need for external validation. So you can operate from your internal you, your authentic self. Just imagine how this would help you to create your happiest thoughts.
Where does your mind go when you see happy people around you? Does it make you sad because they seem to be happier than you? Does it make you happy to see that others are happy? Or do you think happiness is not for you? Perhaps you are focussing too hard on the things that you don’t have, on the times that you aren’t feeling happy. What if you would change your focus on all the moments you are happy? And what is it in those moments that makes you experience happiness? Create a list so you get a good overview of the things/people/experiences/etc that make you happy.
Life is good but it can be better
Are you starting to recognise the patterns you are using?
Are you comparing yourself to others?
Are you looking for that external validation?
Do you think in “all or nothing”?
Does life need to be better? Because when will life be good enough? When you are always focussed on the things you don’t have (yet), you forget to live in the present moment and enjoy the happy moments already accuring without you even noticing them.
Do you have a goal, something you are really passionate about? Something that gets you out of bed in the mornings? Something that make you feel happy? If you are unhappy with your job you should read the post I wrote about this.
Happiness for you; 5 tips
1) Reconnect with your authentic self by cutting out the “noise” around you (the external world). Plan a moment just for you, find somewhere quiet so there’s no distraction, focus on your breathing and reconnect with the most important person in the world ~ you 💞
2) Determin what happiness means to you and who decides this for you. Don’t think too big, keep it simple. For example that perfect cup of coffee at your favourite cafe.
3) Recognise the patterns you are using. For example; “all or nothing thinking”, “the need for external validation”, “comparing yourself with others”.
4) Make a list of all the moments/things/people/etc that make you happy.
5) Start doing more of the things that make you happy 😃
HAPPINESS IS RIGHT HERE, IN FRONT OF YOU. WE OFTEN FOCUS ON THOSE THINGS AND MOMENTS FAR OUT OF REACH AND FORGET THAT WHATEVER WE ARE LOOKING FOR IS RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF US. WE JUST NEED TO SHIFT OUR FOCUS.
INVITATION TO WORK WITH ME
If you realise that after reading this post you could use a bit more help with gaining clarity around how you can find happiness, reconnect with your authentic self, clear or change those unwanted patterns, find or your passion or anything else, please get in touch.